The People Who Clean Up People

 I am absolutely fascinated by people who die alone in apartments.

You hear about these news stories every now and then, how someone died in their apartment and nobody knew for months, and then finally someone (generally the landlord or concerned family member if they have any) go up there and find their body. Sometimes it's been eaten by pets, sometimes it's just lying there, wherever it fell, but the entire concept fascinates me. I have a weird fascination with death as it is, but this is one the weirder aspects of that. Even stranger are the people who have to clean up those apartments. They actually have entire businesses who come in and do that sort of job. This, again, fascinates me. When I was a little girl, I loved walking down the street and looking into peoples windows. Not in a peeping tom sort of sense, but more just because I'm a people watcher. I certainly don't want to be around people, but they do interest me in some manner, and I always loved Halloween in particular because it was the one time a year where you'd knock on someones door with a goal in mind...candy. But I had a secondary goal. Seeing inside their house.

I am so curious with how other people live. And not in a judgmental way, either. I just like seeing how they arrange their furniture or if their hoarders, or what kind of knick knacks, if any, they have sitting around. I think that sort of stuff says a lot about people, and I also think a lot of people don't know it says a lot about them. I think that's partially the high I get from going thrift shopping or yard saleing is knowing that this stuff once belonged to someone, and if it's cool stuff, then it's a shame I didn't get to meet them. About ten years ago, when I was living near the beach, an old woman who lived in a trailer park nearby passed away, and her family was selling off everything she owned inside the trailer. I went down there and skimmed and I found a porcelain turtle, with a little bow tie and a hat, the whole thing was quite large honestly, that you're meant to keep in your yard. I still have this turtle. But it just makes me wonder how much I might actually have in common with other people (especially old ladies) if this is the kind of shit that I would also own. I'm glad I saved that turtle from whatever fate may have befallen him and gave him a real garden to live in.

I wonder if the people who clean out apartments or homes are interested in it the same way that I am. They want to see how the other half lives, the grass is always greener sort of thing. It's interesting that an entire life can be consolidated down to its tchotchkes. I also wonder if there's a hierarchy. I know in the military, the guys in the cavalry division have a sort of cushy job; they take care of horses, they're mostly in photo ops, it's something you strive to attain. I wonder if that exists with cleaners. Are there people who clean out homes that look down on the people who clean up remains from the street? Are there even people who clean up remains from the street? Say someone gets splattered by a car and is all over the road, who cleans that up? How do they feel about what they do? I'm very curious in all of this.

I guess my curiosity from it all stems from the fact that I find people fascinating, or rather, I used to. I no longer believe they are fascinating. Now the only thing I find fascinating about them is how they continue to find new ways to hurt one another. That's why I like cleaners. They're getting rid of the people that had been here, and that's a good thing. The less a footprint we leave on this planet as a species, the better off it will all be, and that's why I have such a morbid respect for this career path, whatever the hell this career path is called. You're not devoting your life to helping people, like a doctor, you're devoting your life to erasing people. There's a sense of recognizing your own mortality within that, knowing that you yourself will one day be cleaned up and sent off somewhere else, that someone will go through your things and perhaps find things you tried so hard to keep hidden.

Everything you own says something about you, and one day everything you own will be left to be handled, probably, by total strangers.

Which is fine by me.

I trust strangers far more than the people I know.